All along the path to change we doubt ourselves, we criticise ourselves for past mistakes. This is not helpful. In turn this leads to a perpetuation of the behaviour we may be seeking to change. We dwell on past failures and this affects current or future behaviour. We often pre-conclude "I failed at this before, therefore I will fail again." It's like having a power in the past. If we keep giving that power creedence and don't change our minds it will keep having control over what we do.
It's hard to filter what's coming in to the brain and rational conscious thought is responsible to analyse incoming messages. This thought has to be accepting those that are true and rejecting those that are not. The conscious mind has the job of forming logical correct conclusion. "I failed in the past, so I will probably fail in the future" is neither logical or rational. Advance conclusion that "I can't" do something without trying is not rational. Spending time and effort concentrating on what you don't want is not rational.
When sabotage comes rearing its ugly nagging head, it's easy to feel overcome, at that point revisit your goals.
Just recently I was faced with a very tearful client who was going through the "I wish I could eat just that (pizza) , it's not fair other people can eat what they want, this is so hard on me I dont know if I can keep this up".
Yes, it's disappointing. Yes, you will doubt yourself, discouragement sets in. Yes, even over one bit of pizza. As it happens, we were not coaching the person to take pizza away but maybe think about making better nutrition choices, along with asking does that food choice fit in with your goals?
But you see the scale (trust me, don`t run your life by a number on the scale) and you are disappointed. You see other people eating what you "can't" right now (new friends time). Oh and watch those food pushers, they are sneaky. It seems like the disadvantages outweigh the advantages right now. Does this trigger a binge eating day? Does it affect your mood? Are you resentful, maybe a bit rebellious? There must be an easier way than this. This feels like hell. It's easy to give up, walk away, give in, succumb to those failure thoughts (all over one little division on the scale!).
Change and mindset alteration takes time. Can you accept the current disadvantages as a means to an end? After all, you can't stop these thoughts arising, it's how you deal with them that counts.
Judith Beck (Beck Diet) uses a technique called "oh well". "Yes, I don`t like what I am doing, but I am going to accept it and move on". So when those sabotage moments come up, tell yourself "oh well" and move on. This will help eliminate the struggle. It may take time, it may not always work but "oh well" can become a reminder of what you set out to do. Simple but effective.